Scared to Get Back Into Sport? That's Not a Weakness.
Updated: 2 days ago
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You used to be the one who never missed a game. Then you had kids, and somewhere between feeding them, carpools, and tournament weekends (theirs, not yours), your gear ended up in the back of the garage.
Now you're thinking about going back. And the first thing that shows up isn't excitement. It's fear.
What if I'm slow? What if I get hurt? What if everyone sees how much skill I've lost?
I know that voice. I heard it too.
The tournament I almost talked myself out of
My pregnancy with my son was high risk, and I was told not to exercise the entire time, so I listened. Then came an unplanned c-section, and a recovery that took a lot longer than I wanted.
By the time I was cleared, I felt like I was at my body's all-time low. My strength was gone. My endurance was gone. I was a hockey player who could barely picture herself finishing a shift.
And I signed up for a hockey tournament anyway.
Not because I felt ready. Because I knew if I waited until I felt ready, I'd be waiting forever.
Was I as good as I used to be? No. Not even close. Did anyone care? Not one person.
If anything, I heard the opposite: "OMG, you have a 6-month-old? You're doing great!"
Here's the part I want you to hear. I've been a coach for over 20 years. I have the certifications, the knowledge, years of experience helping clients hit their goals and a Master's of Sport Psychology. And I still had negative thoughts before I stepped on the ice.
Knowing better doesn't make the fear disappear. What changed was this: I didn't let those thoughts take control or make my decisions.
I played as well as I could that day. Then I kept training off the ice. Today my son is 2.5, and I feel closer to the strength and endurance I had years ago than I ever thought I would. But if I would have listened to that fear I could still be in that situation, which is what happens to most moms.
Fear isn't a sign you shouldn't go back
Fear is a sign it matters to you.
Your brain is wired to protect you from getting hurt or looking foolish. After pregnancy, birth, and years of putting everyone else first, it has plenty of "evidence" to work with. So it gets loud.
That doesn't mean it's right.
This was never a willpower problem, and it isn't a weakness. It's a normal response to a big change. The goal isn't to wait for the fear to leave. It's to stop handing it the keys. You can move through the fear and get to the other side.
How to get back out there when your head says no
Name the thought, then question it. "I'll be the worst one out there" is a thought, not a fact. Ask yourself what you'd say to a teammate who said it. We always speak nicer to others than ourselves and that needs to change!
Lower the bar for day one. Your first skate, game, or round back isn't a comeback. It's a starting point. The only goal is to show up and finish.
Remember why you loved it. You never played to be perfect. You played for the rush, the team, and the feeling of being you. Go back for that.
Decide before the doubt shows up. Register, pay, and put it in the calendar. A decision made on a good day carries you through a nervous one.
Build your body off the field too. Confidence grows when your body feels capable. A few short strength sessions at home each week will calm your nerves more than any pep talk. Grab this FREE resource for simple exercises you can do at home no matter how old your kids are!
What this looks like in real life
Mom of a baby: signing up for drop-in shinny once a month, even if you leave early for a feed.
Mom of toddlers: squats and lunges in the kitchen while dinner cooks, so your legs are ready for game one.
Mom of school-age kids: lacing up for the parents' skate instead of watching from the bench with a coffee. Join a tournament team to play when the dates work for you.
Mom of teens: joining a rec hockey, soccer, softball, or golf league while your kids are busy with their own season. It's your turn.
All Moms: Start putting your needs and wants as a priorty! You deserve it.
None of these require feeling ready. They just require one decision.
Mindset is the starting line, not the whole game
Mindset gets you through the door. But fear sticks around when your body feels weak, tired, or run down.
That's why I coach six pillars together: Mindset & Joy, Exercise & Daily Movement, Nutrition & Gut Health, Proper Hydration, Sleep & Recovery, and Stress Management. When they work as one system, confidence stops being something you have to fake. Over the next five weeks, I'll walk you through each one.
You don't need to bounce back. You get to build forward.
Take the free Readiness Check quiz to find out which pillar is holding you back from getting back in the game. Take the Readiness Check through my website here.
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